Overlooked?

“By the time Judah was born, Leah has turned towards God and seeks to praise Him rather than complain about the treatment she is receiving from her husband. I don’t believe her hope of a better relationship with Jacob died, it just shifted so her self-worth was no longer in that, but in God…”

Genesis 29-30

Have you ever felt overlooked and unappreciated? Almost as if someone else, or anyone else was better than you?  Have you ever wanted so much to be noticed but resigned yourself to never being ‘the one’.  From the moment Rachel was born Leah must have felt like she was second.  She wasn’t the pretty one, she wasn’t the one people were drawn to. All her life she must have resented her sister, Rachel for being the one who was noticed.

When their handsome young cousin Jacob arrives at their father, Laban’s house, it was Rachel who caught his eye. Leah must have looked on that with resignation, wondering when it would be her turn. When would a young man see her first? 

For 7 years Jacob worked for Laban so he could marry Rachel. He would not have hidden his desire or admiration for her. At the end of the 7 years, a marriage feast is planned with Rachel as the intended bride. However, due to Laban’s machinations, it is Leah that ends up in Jacob’s bed not Rachel. He couldn’t tell the difference in the night.  But his stunned surprise and shock probably led to thoughtless words that would have hurt Leah. I can’t imagine what all of those young people thought on what should have been Rachel and Jacob’s wedding night. Rachel was alone in her bedroom, while her sister sleeps with her man. Leah, being forced to share Jacob’s bed when she knows he doesn’t want her. She knows he believes she is Rachel and probably dreads discovering in the morning, while hoping that it will be ok.

The hurt and rejection Leah must have felt when Jacob goes to Laban and says he doesn’t want her, but still wants Rachel. This would have been made worse when Laban says he must keep Leah but can have Rachel as wife once her wedding week is over. She must have realized that her life would not be different even in her marriage as she and her sister would now share the same man, a man who clearly preferred Rachel over her.

The Divine Progression

There was always something, I believe, that caused Leah to have hoped for a change and then felt sad and depressed when they didn’t. She had faith and prayed and yet life didn’t seem to change for her. When she started having children there was hope expressed that her husband would love and prefer her. And yet she continues to have children. What would happened if she said no to Jacob? If she said ‘enough! You prefer Rachel so go be with her’, she didn’t. Fear of rejection may have stopped her from saying “No” to Jacob.  However, she took the negative feelings and sought God in them.  The names of her sons reflect how she was feeling at the time of their birth. You can see a steady progression of the changes she experienced.

• Reuben (means ‘see, a son!) – because the Lord has seen my humiliation and suffering: now my husband will love me (Gen 29:32)
• Simeon (means ‘God hears) – because the Lord has heard I am unloved, He has given me this son also (Gen 29:33)
• Levi (means ‘attached’) – this time my husband will become attached to me [as a companion] (Gen 29:34)
• Judah (means ‘Praise’) – this time I will praise the Lord (Gen 29:35).

By the time Judah was born, Leah has turned towards God and seeks to praise Him rather than complain about the treatment she is receiving from her husband. I don’t believe her hope of a better relationship with Jacob died, it just shifted, so her self-worth was no longer in that, but in God. It is a challenging message to hear.

Where do we put our hope? Human beings are flawed and can hurt each other, often unintentionally. If we put our need for love and acceptance on others, then we create an unequal yoke with them. They will always fail us in some way so our wants, needs, and desires will go unmet.

By turning her eyes to God and changing how she saw the relationship with her husband, I believe Leah changed the destiny of her child. Judah may have been the fourth son but he was fundamental in the line of King David which ultimately led to Jesus himself. Judah’s name has survived and is used as another name for the Hebrew faith – Judaism. We talk about the tribe of Judah and the Lion of the tribe of Judah. 

The Birth of a Historic Nation

We don’t always know what will happen in us and through us, and it would have surprised Leah to learn that her change of attitude towards Jacob would have had such a profound impact on history. Leah, like all of us, had a choice. We are shown Leah’s faith by her actions, even though we are not told how she held on to her faith throughout her life. She could have chosen to live in bitterness of the unfairness of her life. If she had she would never have fulfilled her destiny to birth children who would have such an impact on the history of a nation. Even Levi, her third child, had a destiny. He was the patriarch of the priestly line of Israel. Rather than being unloved and overlooked, Leah was pivotal in the birthing of the nation. 

Rachel, the pretty one, had to wait to marry Jacob. She also had to wait to have a child.  This must have been so humbling for her. Coming second to her sister for a change.  Watching Leah holding her babies must have been so hard for Rachel. I wonder what it took to heal the relationship between them? A bending of arrogance and privilege from Rachel and a releasing of bitterness from Leah? 

In everything, there is a choice, just as there is one before you now. If life has been unfair to you, if you have felt overlooked and unappreciated, know that our Heavenly Father sees you. He has a destiny just for you. In my life, before I was a Christian, there were events and circumstances which would have justified me living in hurt and bitterness. I didn’t understand I had a choice. However, loving and trusting in God to be who He says He is, showed me I had a choice and a destiny. I chose this with everything I have and absolutely believe it is the right choice.