So it was a proud day when Tom took to the field wearing his new sky – blue and white striped shirt with the number 11 on the back. Black shorts, sky blue socks, shin pads and boots had been set out on the chair at the side of Tom’s bed for three days awaiting this time; although Tom had had to try them on several times and check himself out in the mirror with a few action poses.
“The Lord will lay bare his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth will see the salvation of our God”. (Isaiah 52:10) NIV.
Good earthly fathers are protective of their children. They watch out for them to make sure they are not harmed. I believe it should be unusual for fathers to step into their children’s battles on their behalf; it is good for children to learn how best to cope with things themselves or to act on advice from parents. I remember our son coming home from school aged 5 and he was not looking his usual happy little self. We became concerned over a period of time and asked him what was wrong. He told us that a particular child kept kicking him in the legs and hitting him in the back whilst on their way home from school. We spent a little time with Ben telling him what we thought should be his approach, and if that did not work, the next steps to take. He did take our advice, and things settled down to the extent that this boy stopped bullying him and is now one of Ben’s best friends.
However sometimes it may be necessary for a parent to get involved first hand. The following story hopefully illustrates the point. It is fictional but as a teacher I have seen this played out many times:
Jim was fully supportive of his 10 year old son Tom’s desire to play on the local football team. Tom was not the best player by any means, but he had enough skill to be in a side, and his enthusiasm and commitment were beyond question. Jim had been down with Tom to check out the local team and had approached the managers. They invited Tom to a few training sessions which was the normal way to assess a boy’s ability, overall fitness and attitude. Jim went to see a couple of the sessions and whilst he was happy that Tom was being given a chance, he had some issues with the trainer/manager’s methods ; he seemed to think that the way to get the ‘best ‘ out of the boys was to shout a lot and also use belittling tactics and sarcasm to get them to perform – ah well, it takes all sorts and at least Tom was getting his chance, but Jim felt he would keep an eye on the situation.
After a few sessions, Tom came up proudly to his dad to say that he had been picked to play for the team on the following Saturday morning. Jim had held back from buying the kit needed in case Tom did not get on the team; however, this news meant a full- scale and excited purchase of everything necessary. This was all part of the fun and Jim was very happy to enjoy it with his son – he remembered his own dad scrimping and saving to buy him his first pair of boots; long laces, hard leather, and hammer – in studs with the danger of bits of nail sticking in your feet as you ran!! Not like today’s state of the art low slung, stylish and sleek, trade-marked, logo bearing fashion statements that his dad could never have afforded.
So it was a proud day when Tom took to the field wearing his new sky – blue and white striped shirt with the number 11 on the back. Black shorts, sky blue socks, shin pads and boots had been set out on the chair at the side of Tom’s bed for three days awaiting this time; although Tom had had to try them on several times and check himself out in the mirror with a few action poses. Tom had hardly slept the night before but no-one would have known as he took to the field, glancing side-ways and giving his dad an unostentatious wave and a half-smile as he ran onto the field in a line with the rest of the team. Jim couldn’t have been happier – just seeing his own son in this way brought a lump to his throat and a tear to his eye. He knew Tom was not the best in the world and as such he did not place undue pressure on him to out- perform others, simply to do his best and try his hardest.
Jim had seen enough parents who expressed disappointment in their children because they did not fulfil their exacting and perfectionist standards to be better than everyone else. For his part Jim was just happy to see his son out there, looking the part, having the opportunity and it made him so proud.
The game went well enough and Tom did some good darting runs down the wing and past the defenders. He would have to work harder on crossing the ball, and Jim thought he would take Tom down to the park to practice mid-week. Unfortunately, the manager was less positive and encouraging in his attitude. In fact Jim’s concerns that he used bullying tactics were being confirmed by the minute. Not only that. It seemed that the example being set by the coach had spread to some of the parents. They shouted abuse at their own youngsters if they made a mistake, and belittled any of the others in the team who did the same. The poor lads on the opposing side came up for out and out ridicule and some very nasty comments, to such an extent that a fight between parents of opposing sides was a regular possibility. So when, at 2-1 to the opposition, Tom missed an easy, open goal five minutes from time, he came in for rather a lot of verbal abuse. Not only did the coach put his head in his hands as if the end of the world was near, he continued to let Tom know his frustration to the end of the game. As Jim waited outside the changing rooms he overheard the coach swearing at the boys in the dressing room, and venting his frustration in all directions, including Tom, as part of his after- match talk.
When Tom finally came out of the dressing room, dragging his feet and feeling somewhat sheepish he was surprised not to find his dad waiting for him. He went to the car park and saw that the car was still there, but his dad was not to be seen; so he did as he had always been told and waited where his dad would have expected him to be.
As Tom approached the changing rooms he heard a raised angry voice and recognised it as being his dad’s. He had not heard his dad raise his voice very often, so when he did it counted ! He was not one to listen in but could not help overhearing what was being said. He had never heard his dad so angry, yet he knew he had not lost his temper – it was more like he was telling it as it was, but with some force. Tom knew the difference between a frustrated coach and an angry father.
From what was being said it was clear that he was speaking to the coach. There were quite a few words spoken and if Tom could have heard them all he would have understood his father to be saying: “…I am very proud of my son, of his attitude, his commitment to the team and his enthusiasm and I will not have him spoken to in this way again by you or anyone else connected with this club……. Other parents may be fine with your approach but I am not…” When Jim came out of the coach’s room it was clear to Tom that only one person had been talking and that the man who usually had a lot to say was now speechless.
Good fathers sometimes have to stand up for their children against bullies. The Scripture at the beginning of this message speaks of God baring His arm, or rolling His sleeves up. This means getting ready to fight. And have you noticed that Jesus never fought or got angry on His own behalf – it was always for the sake of others. In fact, when the soldiers came for Him with cudgels, He just gave Himself up, saying He had the power to lay down His life. But God hates injustice, and wants us to have the same Spirit in us. Our God is an awesome God! Our dad is BIG and strong and powerful.
